Everyone knows the ancient Christian creeds are outdated and passé. It is time we have a new creed that fits everyone in our brave new modern world.
We believe that God is in all of us;
He has been created in our image
We believe that each one must find the truth that is right for him.
Reality will adapt accordingly.
The universe will readjust, history will alter.
We believe there is no absolute truth;
Except the truth that there is no absolute truth.
We believe that after death comes The Nothing;
Confirmed by the dead who say and do nothing.
We believe in Masters and Johnson.
What’s selected is average,
What is average is normal,
What is normal is good.
We believe in total disarmament
and there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed.
Americans should beat their weapons into farm tools
The Muslims and Chinese will be sure to follow.
We believe that man is essentially good,
It is only his behavior that lets him down.
This is the fault of society.
Society is the fault of the conditions.
Conditions are the fault of society.
We believe in Planned Parenthood and government assistance,
We believe in abortion, infanticide and euthanasia
People are only real people when people say they are people.
The government needs to decide the cost and value of people.
We believe we should all get along and love one another
as long as there’s no inconvenience or discomfort.
We believe in the rejection of all creeds.