Marriage in Heaven? Will We Know and Love Our Spouses in Heaven?

by Steve Ray on February 19, 2015

Mom and Dad visiting graves of our ancestors

My dad died almost five years ago. Mom misses Dad and was discouraged about Mark 12:25 which her paraphrased Living Bible improperly rendered “will not be married” in heaven.

I wrote the following to comfort my Mom…

Mom, I know it is important to you since Dad’s death as you look forward to eternity and speculate about relationships in heaven. It is important to me too, knowing I want to be with my wife Janet in heaven.

You quoted Mark 12:25 from the Living Bible where it says husbands and wives “won’t be married in heaven.” It is the Living Bible translation – which is not a translation but a paraphrase – that renders the words “they won’t be married.” The paraphrased Living Bible takes great liberties and is quite inaccurate.

Here is how other Protestant translations translate the verse (since I know you like the Protestant translations even though the Catholic Bibles word it the same):

The King James Version renders it:
“For when they shall rise from the dead, they neither marry, nor are given in marriage; but are as the angels which are in heaven.”

New American Standard Bible says:
“For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven.”

New International Version (NIV) says:
“When the dead rise, they will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.”

No reputable translation translates this in a way to deny there are people continuing in love with earthly spouses. The original Greek language says there is no giving or taking in marriage. In other words, there will be no weddings in heaven.

Interestingly it says that before the flood the people were “marrying and giving in marriage” until the flood came. But after the flood Noah and his wife in the ark were still married :-)  

There will be male and female distinctions in heaven. Jesus appeared as male after his resurrection. Mary is seen in heaven as a woman (Revelation 12:1). Marriage will be known in heaven since the Church is the Bride and there will be the great marriage in heaven with Jesus the Bridegroom and the marriage supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:9).

The Pharisees set up a trap for Jesus in Mark 12:18-27. They propose a situation with seven brothers. The first marries a wife and dies with no children. The second brother “takes” the woman to procreate children for his brother. This was the law of the Jews — a brother must take the wife of his dead brother to preserve his brother’s name in the land by propagating offspring for him with his widow.) This happens seven times. Who’s wife will she be in heaven.

The woman who was the wife of the seven brothers did not marry the seven brothers.  She married the first and was given to the six in order to procreate children in the name of the first.  All their children would be credited to her first husband who was her true love and spouse.

Jesus is not intending to teach on relationships in heaven but he is refuting the Sadducees’ denial of the existence of angels and the resurrection. He is cleverly eluding their question and in no way denies husbands and wives will know and love each other in heaven. This is not a treatise on relationships in heaven but a clever response to his opponents about the existence of the supernatural world.

Mom and Dad with my older sister Patty c. 1940

The purpose for marriage was companionship and procreation. The propagation of children and the population of the earth was God’s plan for marriage on earth. The meeting of sperm and egg will not be needed in heaven.”Marital love” to produce children will not happen in heaven so marriage in that sense will not exist. But that does not eliminate the continuance of earthly relationship.

We will recognize each other in heaven just as the three disciples recognized Moses and Elijah on the mount of Transfiguration and John recognized Mary in heaven (Rev 12:1). 

Family and matrimony are very important in Scripture and the way God fashioned the universe and created man and woman to be one flesh. There must be spiritual discernment here. The reason why the Jews buried family members together is because they will rest together in heaven. There is a spiritual permanence to family. And an extraordinarily strong spiritual permanence to matrimony. This is why it is described as “one flesh”.

We will not know and love less in heaven – we will know and love more. And can we comprehend that God would command us to love each other down here and would expect us to forget or deny that love in heaven?

Interestingly, Doctor of the Church St. John Chrysostom, in writing on fidelity in marriage said that young husbands should tell their wives, “I have taken you in my arms, and I love you, and I prefer you to my life itself. For the present life is nothing, and my most ardent dream is to spend it with you in such a way that we may be assured of not being separated in the life reserved for us.… I place your love above all things, and nothing would be more bitter or painful to me than to be of a different mind than you. (CCC 2365, St. John Chrysostom, Hom. in Eph. 20, 8: PG 62, 146–147.)

 

Nothing in Scripture leads us to believe that relationships between spouses will be eliminated. There is every reason to believe relations will be maintained in heaven though for different reasons – enhanced reasons which we will understand when we get there.

We cannot understand our new spiritual bodies and heavenly existence any more than a caterpillar can comprehend what it will be like to be a butterfly. We cannot anticipate how personal relationships will flower in glory any more than acorn can anticipate standing 50 feet tall.

I’m convinced you and dad will have a wonderful and much better relationship. It will be different. We cannot even comprehend how much better or more in love we’ll be with our spouses, any more than an unborn baby can speculate about the taste of a delicious steak dinner.

Mom and Dad's Wedding in 1939 (middle couple)

Referring to Jesus’ words J. Vernon McGee 9 (one of your favorite Baptist preachers) writes, “This doesn’t mean that a man and a woman who were together down here can’t be together in heaven. They won’t be together as man and wife. They are not establishing a home up there, nor are they raising children. That’s the thing that He’s saying to them here.”

Marriage is an earthly word to serve an earthly purpose. Marital relationships, on the other hand, will transcend time because love is forever. Faith and hope will pass away but love will never pass away (1 Cor 13:13).

Dad is sitting in his favorite chair having coffee with Our Lord Jesus waiting for you to arrive to love you better than ever before. In the meantime he is praying for you and very intent on your we’ll being.

(Thanks to De Maria for suggestions and insights which I have included)

Further thoughts from Whalter:

The divine declaration was that it was “not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18) The text reveals that God and the man enjoyed a genuine, interactive relationship in the pristine environment of the garden (Gen 2:15-19, 17; 3:8­-9), but God had created man as a relational being a being with capacity for a relationship with God, as well as a capacity, indeed, need for relationship with others like himself.  

 This divinely created need for companionship and relationship was part of the original creation to which the new creation returns. Granted, after man’s lapse into sin in the garden, the need for relationship in humanity was seriously marred and deformed. 

Mom and Dad in 2006

 But, did God declare a law of marriage in a perfect world?  There are no such law. There were no laws of marriage imposed on Adam and Eve either. The only laws were “Don’t eat from that tree” and ” Be fruitful, start multiplying”.

They were made man and wife. In a perfect world, no laws of marriage were needed…But, they were commanded to have sex and multiply. This is what made Adam and Eve to be man and wife. She came out of his rib. 

 This made them related. Was this a law or an act of God? What law of marriage was imposed upon Adam and Eve? In the portion of Scripture above, God was silent. Adam did all the talking. Adam was prophesying about FUTURE relationships (Adam didn’t have a Mom and Dad).

God didn’t need a law to make Adam and Eve to be man and wife. In a perfect world, no laws of marriage were needed. Why would you even need laws of marriage in a perfect world? 

 In a perfect world, when God did the pairing, no law was needed. Adam and Eve were made to be man and wife while they were in an immortal state intended to be forever without death. 

 So, did God intend for them to be man and wife forever? In Heaven, will God undo what He originally did in a perfect world? Think about that. In a manner of speaking, will He return Eve back to the rib and stop their relationship which he made and said was good? God will not undo any laws of marriage over Adam and Eve because there never were any to begin with. They will have their bodies and a wonderfully fulfilled loving relationship, though they will no longer be procreating children.

 Heaven will be a perfect world, and no laws of marriage will be needed there either. Jesus made it very clear that in the age to come there will be no laws of marriage, no earthly ceremonies, no contracts being made where the father gets paid to sell his daughter (given in marriage).

 Yet, as in the perfect state of union that Adam and Eve had — a relationship God made them to need and to have — in heaven he will not undo what he did in the Garden. A man will know and love his counterpart that God gave him. They will love each other in that relationship for all eternity. Mom and Dad will still be “married.”

{ 36 comments… read them below or add one }

De Maria January 22, 2013 at 10:18 PM

Family ties seem to be very important in Scripture. We can see the words, “buried with his fathers”.

Genesis 25:8-10
King James Version (KJV)
8 Then Abraham gave up the ghost, and died in a good old age, an old man, and full of years; and was gathered to his people. 9 And his sons Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machpelah, in the field of Ephron the son of Zohar the Hittite, which is before Mamre; 10 The field which Abraham purchased of the sons of Heth: there was Abraham buried, and Sarah his wife.

These things, I believe, must be spiritually discerned. The reason why the Jews buried family members together is because they will rest together in heaven. There is a spiritual permanence to family. And an extraordinarily strong spiritual permanence to matrimony. This is why it is described as “one flesh”.

Matthew 19:6
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.

When we look at our spouses, they are obviously NOT one physical lump of flesh with us. My wife is completely independent of me. But God says that we are one flesh, therefore spiritual discernment is in order here. That one flesh must be of the spiritual order, for where there is a physical body, there is also a spiritual body and it follows that a physical body is made of physical flesh and the spiritual body must therefore be made of spiritual flesh.

And we are joined in love and this is spiritual quantity. Therefore, it is love which joins us together. And love is permanent. As Scripture says:

1 Corinthians 13:13
13 But now abideth faith, hope, love, these three; and the greatest of these is love.

Therefore, I also have great hope that when I die, I will rest with my family and with my wife. I don’t see how it could be otherwise, to tell you the truth.

Sincerely,

De Maria

De Maria January 22, 2013 at 11:11 PM

I was thinking about Matt 22,” not be given in marriage” and it occurs to me that Jesus meant that there would be no need for “s-e-x”. This is why He said, “They will be like angels”.

The woman who was the wife of the seven brothers did not marry the seven brothers. She married the first and was given to the six in order to procreate children in the name of the first. All their children would be credited to her first husband who was her true love.

Sincerely,

De Maria

Colleen Frankowski July 3, 2013 at 9:45 PM

And, marriage is a sacrament.

sarah October 29, 2013 at 2:51 PM

Thank you for this! Other interpritations have really bummed me out.

Misato November 5, 2013 at 3:05 PM

Ditto Sarah. I have often heard this biblical phrase and have often wondered, how can someone you have loved so deeply all of a sudden no longer be important to you in heaven?. It’s because I have also heard of a Biblical phrase that goes something like, you will love everyone equally when you get to heaven? If you feel the same for everyone, then that means no one is special to you anymore. That really is a bummer.

Gary November 6, 2013 at 10:46 AM

My objection is that the question posed by the Sadducees would not have been a valid one or a good trap if the other brothers didn’t marry the woman, the scriptures say that they each married her, they could not have sex with her without marriage it would have been adultery, they said(Moses gave us a law) Jesus called them on it by stating, they really didn’t understand the scriptures, their question was valid in that they understood that all the brothers married her, but invalid in that they didn’t understand the state of human relationships in heaven.
Answer in place of Jesus, whose wife would she be in heaven? If the first like someone proposed here, Jesus would have said so clearly.

vondell December 1, 2013 at 8:51 PM

I was reading other opinions on, will we be with our spouse in Heaven. I was up set to the point of tears at what I was reading. I love my husband more than life. After reading your explanation I felt so much better. I want to be beside him there and all of my family. Thank you.

Chas Jones December 26, 2013 at 1:19 AM

My personal belief is that in Eternity everyone in Christ will be brothers and sisters in Christ. I do not believe our earthly memories will survive our Transformation into our New Bodies. However, we will Love everyone with the Same Agape Love with which God Loves Us. We know in the New Heaven, and I believe in the New Earth also, there will be no Tears, nor Sorrow, nor Night. Temptation and Sin will be no more. Believe what gives you Peace now, but Rest Assured that what is Coming will be Perfection with no regret nor unease of any kind. We will All Love God Perfectly as He Loves Us.

Julie Nicholson February 16, 2014 at 4:10 PM

Interesting read Steve and brought back memories of my Mom. She wasn’t one to devour scripture, but she did ponder and worried about Mark 12:25. She shared many times her worries about heaven and what her relationship would be like with her husband, my dad she lost at the age of 38. She would always say, “It’s not fair if he will not be my husband in heaven, I did not have him long enough here.” I would always encourager her, that our mind can not comprehend how great heaven will be, and it’s going to be grander than our time together on earth. To be honest, I also had a hard time with Mark 12:25…
Then I wrote a book called “Finding the One, In His Time” and while doing my research I learned something and wrote this about my mom and dad ‘s marriage.
” It gives me comfort to know that my parents were married in the Church, their vows of marriage were to God and not men, and they became “one flesh” united through God the Father, Jesus Christ our Lord with the power of the Holy Spirit. This gives me hope they will for eternity be united in the Holy Trinity “as one” with our Father, Jesus Christ the Holy Spirit and all the Church.
Genesis 2:22-24
“22and the rib which the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones” “and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Mark 10: 6-9
“6But from the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ 7‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, 8and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. 9What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder.”

Ephesians 5: 31-32
“31“For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church.

This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church.

Scripture time and time again explains the mystery of our Heavenly Father’s plan for marriage. They are to become “One.” Christ taught his disciples, that He is One with the Father and the Holy Spirit and if we believe in Him we become “one” in Him. If we become “one” in Him through faith a d then we marry and become “one flesh” with our mate, this unites the two; male and female to the Holy Trinity. Our marriage becomes united into the mysteries of the faith. Our Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ our Lord and the Holy Spirit want to be in full communion in our life as we become “one” flesh. We are now “One” all of us.
My mom is still united with my Dad through the Holy Trinity and when The Lord calls her home she is going to realize not only has our Lord been with her ( and she knows this), but because of her faith in Christ, her husband, my dad are united in the loving arms of the Holy Trinity, and he is with her. Not only is her husband with her in that way, but the “whole Church” is there also.

This is a great mystery, and I mean in reference to Christ and the Church.

John 14: 19-20: “19Yet a little while, and the world will see me no more, but you will see me; because I live, you will live also. 20In that day you will know that I am in my Father, and you in me, and I in you.”

John 1:14: 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, full of grace and truth; we have beheld his glory, glory as of the only-begotten Son from the Father.

1 Corinthians 6: 15-16: “15Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I therefore take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16Do you not know that he who joins himself to a prostitute becomes one body “with her? For, as it is written, “The two shall become one.

Luke. 3: 21-22: “21 Now when all the people were baptized, and when Jesus also had been baptized and was praying, the heaven was opened, 22and the Holy Spirit descended “upon him in bodily form, as a dove, and a voice came from heaven, “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well pleased.

The Holy Trinity is unity and no doubt a mystery and we are a part of the mystery in the unity. This is one area I have grown as a Catholic Convert. I think it is so beautiful to see how our Heavenly Father orchestrated His kingdom to be connected. It is through the Holy Trinity. We are not alone. Those that are in His presence are pouring out prayers for us all on earth.

Revelation: 5:6-8: “6 And between the throne and the four living creatures and among the elders, I saw a Lamb standing, as though it had been slain, with seven horns and with seven eyes, * which are the seven spirits of God sent out into all the earth; 7and he went and took the scroll from the right hand of him who was seated on the throne. 8And when he had taken the scroll, the four living creatures and the twenty-four elders fell down before the Lamb, each holding a harp, and with golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints.

My mom passed away 2 years ago and I hope this encouraged her concerning Mark 12:25 until she finally was reunited with my dad in the most perfect way, for eternity.

Betty March 25, 2014 at 5:06 PM

I have read a few books on near death experiences… “Heaven is for Real” and my latest favorite, “Held By The Hand Of God: Why Am I Alive” by Joe Laws http://heldbythehandofgod.com/. Each one of these experiences have given me hope for my soul, and the hope that I will be with my family in heaven!

Marie Coppola November 26, 2014 at 8:35 AM

Thank you for an interesting and comforting article, Steve. Being a Catholic, one looks for interpretation from our church on this matter. I understand more now why the church is so firm on marriage, divorce and annulment – and they follow scripture. I concur with your findings and other comments, especially the one by Chas Jones. Although he didn’t touch on ‘marriage’, he defines the closeness of all and if we recognize one another, that love will transcend death and become more powerful. The point he made about “We will All Love God Perfectly as He Loves Us” says volumes. On earth, we are to love God with all our heart, soul and mind, putting Him above all things. In Heaven, it will be even more – We will be One in Him as Jesus became One in Him. Marriage will not exist as it does here on earth but we will be with the one we love as well as with others we love but in a different setting. A perfect setting, a love setting with the One who made us. I am married and love and thank God for my husband – he is a gift from God to me. We have a strong union, but we both put God first. It will be the same in Heaven. We don’t know what God has in store for us, but eye has not seen, nor ear has heard what God has ready for those who love Him. Since God is Love, He knows our hearts’ desires, and I trust that He will put that in place for us.

Whalter February 18, 2015 at 3:39 PM

The divine declaration was that“not good for the man to be alone” (Gen 2:18) The text reveals that God and the man enjoyed a genuine, interactive relationship in the pristine environment of the garden (Gen 2:15-19, 17; 3:8­-9), but God had created man as a relational being a being with capacity for a relationship with God, as well as a capacity, indeed, need for relationship with others like himself. This divinely created need for companionship and relationship was part of the original creation to which the new creation returns. Granted, after man’s lapse into sin in the garden, the need for relationship in humanity was seriously marred and deformed.

But, did God declare a law of marriage in a perfect world? There are no such law. There were no laws of marriage imposed on Adam & Eve either. The only laws were “Don’t eat from that tree” and ” Be fruitful, start multiplying”. They were made man & wife. In a perfect world, no laws of marriage were needed…But, they were commanded to have sex and multiply. This is what made Adam & Eve to be man & wife. She came out of his rib. This made them related. Was this a law or an act of God? What law of marriage was imposed upon Adam & Eve? In the portion of scripture above, God was silent. Adam did all the talking. Adam was prophesying about FUTURE relationships (Adam didn’t have a Mom & Dad). God didn’t need a law to make Adam & Eve to be man & wife. In a perfect world, no laws of marriage were needed. Why would you even need laws of marriage in a perfect world?

In a perfect world, when God did the pairing, no law was needed. Adam & Eve were made to be man & wife while they were in an immortal state; So, did God intend for them to be man & wife forever? In Heaven, will God undo what He originally did in a perfect world? Think about that. In a manner of speaking, will He return Eve back to the rib? God will not undo any laws of marriage over Adam & Eve because there never were any.
Heaven will be a perfect world, and no laws of marriage will be needed there either. Jesus made it very clear that in the age to come there will be no laws of marriage, no earthly ceremonies, no contracts being made where the father gets paid to sell his daughter (given in marriage).

Anne Hazel February 20, 2015 at 4:39 PM

Thank you, Steve! I sometimes wonder this since I can’t imagine my life now or eternity without my husband; he is my everything. You give some very helpful references and thoughts to reflect on. My thought is why wouldn’t we be closest to the one who has helped us to heaven the most? Spouses are to help each other get to heaven; wouldn’t this create an even greater bond between husband and wife if we get to heaven on each others’ prayers and encouragement? If God placed these desires in our hearts of intimacy and bonding does He not fulfill them in complete fulfillment in Heaven? After reading your article I’m beginning to think that our closeness to our spouses will be even greater than while on earth in a higher and more beautiful realm than now. Can’t wait to get there!!

Katie @ The Catholic Wife February 22, 2015 at 4:21 PM

Fantastic – reposting to my site! Thank you!

Cheryl March 5, 2015 at 9:31 AM

Wonderful! I have always felt that there must be continuation of the love & commitment between spouses and family members in Heaven but have never been able to articulate my reasoning nearly as well as you have laid out here. Beautiful post. Thank you!

Michael May 2, 2015 at 11:25 AM

Matt 22:30 It is certainly a difficult passage to understand outside of the traditional reading. Some have suggested that Jesus does not refer to an abolition of marriage but rather a change in how it functions and comes about socially. The part that makes even the traditional reading difficult is the line of reasoning behind the change “for they will be like the angels.” What on earth does that mean? The standard answer has been androgyny or asexuality, but Jewish tradition points instead to their immortality. So, what does immortality have to do with marriage, and how does the traditional interpretation forge a link between them? We might say that marriage is only necessary because of mortality (i.e. to further the species), but Genesis seems to disagree. Altogether, I think it is about as clear as mud.
John Kilgallen an catholic scholar has held for a long time, there would be marriage in the resurrection. “Though Jesus does not say who wife the widow will be in the next life, it is reasonable to assume she will be the wife of the first husband, whose life was ended here, but will continue forever (with her) in the resurrected life.”

I don’t think an immaterial existence in heaven is the plan. I think material existence without the stain of sin is the important eschatological goal. So, I imagine that marriage would function in much the same way as it does now, but absent the selfishness, pride, and anger.

Jack Azevedo May 10, 2015 at 1:33 PM

This is the best explanation of these verses of the bible that I have read. It is hardly ever mentioned that the questions by the Pharisees was a trick question, as they did not believe in the resurrection. Jesus was able, of course, to put them in their place by answering regarding marriage in heaven. He did not mention where there will be relationships. And I believe what the author has mentioned, we will be married in Heaven for ever

Robert August 5, 2015 at 8:23 PM

Thank You Steve. Curiously Josephus in the Jewish War tells us an anecdote which implies that the first husband will be the legitimate one in the beyond. A widow, who married several times after her first husband’s death, was told by this husband in a dream that he would claim her back. Two days after this dream, she died and could thus join him.

Sherri August 25, 2015 at 8:53 PM

Thank you so much for giving me hope. I have wondered how God who loves us would create a holy union for two people – to grow their love for each other – who obviously created the beginning of husband and wife heart felt love in Eden at a time of immortality – would ever rip that love from the people he gave it to. Since God created husband and wife in Eden in immortality where He intended us to love Him first and our family a very close second, we can indeed put God first as we should in heaven and still love the one He joined us with in heart felt love in heaven.

Carol November 26, 2015 at 12:41 AM

I’m glad so many here are comforted by this interpretation…but it’s incredibly discouraging for lifelong single people…who (by this interpretation) will remain strays and “leftovers ” in heaven…very, very sad and disappointing to be deprived of marriage and family on this earth ( an actual hell on earth and then forced to spend eternity that way so that married couples can continue their exclusive, “special” relationships. I hope for a different scenario… One where those earthly married couples will be duty-bound to stretch themselves in eternity and treat *everyone* in heaven as “special.”

Connie Domyan December 27, 2015 at 10:42 AM

I just lost my husband after 47 yrs. of marriage . He was and is the love of my life along with my children. The thought of being reunited is the only thing keeping me going . If I thought I would never see him again I don’t know if I could go on. Your article has given me hope. Sometimes the Scriptures are difficult to interpret. I have also become much closer to God. I know it is my husband bringing me closer to Him and the church. I will also be joining a grief counseling group. Thank you very much.

Tim January 15, 2016 at 4:12 PM

What happens if your mom marries again before she dies? Then who’s wife will she be in heaven if its the way your thinking?

Tim January 15, 2016 at 4:19 PM

Jesus plainly said that there will be no marriage in heaven. I also don’t think we will know that our lost unsaved friends and family that haven’t been born again didn’t make it there. Jesus said there will be no more tears in heaven, so if we realized that our loved ones didn’t make it we would be devastated.

Praesagus January 22, 2016 at 11:39 AM

And then there is the other side of it for those of us who are not in very good marriages. It’s sad to say, but I would not look forward to heaven if I had to stay married to the woman I am married to. Eph 5:25 says that we as husbands are to love our wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Jesus gave up his life in an attempt to save mine. I happened to accept, but not everyone does. If he asks that I sacrifice my life (i.e. not divorce her to try and have a happier life) in an attempt to save (live as an example and bring Christ into the home) hers, can I disobey? No. But I am soooooo grateful there is an end to it.

Robert Tran March 1, 2016 at 9:37 PM

Hello,
My name is Robert Tran and I have a question about heaven. Will I see my lover there? I’m Buddhist and she’s Catholic.

Amalia Rey Lara April 30, 2016 at 7:10 AM

My husband died a month ago. I remember they say he will not remember me as his wife when i also die. This makes me soo sad and ask anyone authority on catholic believes. While praying for my husband everynight i ask and prayed somhard to GOD not to allow my husbnad not knowing me as his wife when i die. I talk to GOD catholic teaching is to love one another when we got married how come when we will not know each other when we die? This is unfair and against the teaching oF LOVING ONE ANOTHER AS GOD LOVES HIS CHURCH.
But now that i read this article it is a great reliefe and happiness that i could live my life now hoping i will be with my husband when GOD will take me. Thank you so much for this article. Now i will be praying hard for the soul of my husband be at peace. I will NOT bug him anymore for i know now I WILL BE WITH HIM WHEN I DIE.

Linda May 5, 2016 at 4:12 PM

Thank you for this article. I’m not Catholic but I was searching for an answer to my recent loss of my ex-husband. We were married for fourteen years and got a divorce. Neither of us remarried nor did we have other children with anyone else, except the two children when had during our marriage. Before his death my ex sent for me to come and visit with him. As he laid dying he requested for forgiveness for all the things he should have done and all the things that he should not have done. He told me that if he had the chance he would marry me all over again that I was the love of his life and that he had never stopped loving me. He went on to tell me that I would forever be in his heart and that he would carry a piece of me in his heart and when he crossed to other side he would always be near to protect. I confessed my love for him and asked for forgiveness also; as we made our amends. I had seven whole days to cherish how much he loved me and I him, before his death. To have had a wonderful marriage for more than a decade and then have events to turn our lives as well as our children’s lives upside down, only to learn that your spouse never stop loving you and you only had seven days to relive being that consumed by love, only to have to leave it behind when we cross to the other side, seems unbearable . This article gives me hope, that one day when I meet him on the other side, the love that we once shared will be ours again. Because heaven is a place of paradise, so the events that caused us not to make it here in our earthly lives, will no longer be a factor.

Egla Vinson May 10, 2016 at 12:42 PM

Thank you so much, My husband just pass away less than two weeks ago we were marry for 9 years only but I love him so much and he to me. We found each other after failure in our marriage because the infidelity of our espouses. But he and I love each other so much. I know God guide me to read this because i have a wonderful peace,

Amalia Rey Lara May 20, 2016 at 1:46 AM

It is almost 56 days since my husband died. The sorrow and loneliness being apart from him hurts me so much that i want to commit suiced to be with him but the thinking of going to hell if i do commit suiced scared me for not being with him in heaven. When sorrow and loneliness struck me i read and read your article sir, over and over. By reading over and over the assurance of being with my husband when i die gives me comfort and more trusting to GOD that HE will let us be together in heaven i am now trying to follow GOD’S teaching to be able to be with my husband. When i pray for my husband soul everynight i never forget PRAY FOR THE SOUL OF MY HUSBAND (N) or HAVE MERCY FOR THE SOUL OF MY HUSBAND(N). I always attach the phrase MY HUSBAND in his name. This way GOD will not forget he is my husband and i am his wife, until we meet again.
Thank you sir steve ray for this enlightenment.

Howard Winters June 13, 2016 at 12:52 PM

Thank you Steve for the comforting article. My wife died just a short month ago. We always told our kids we were ONE, even had a self proclaimed psychic tell us we were soul mates. I never had any doubts we would be in heaven together as ONE, until now, as the worldly sorrow eats at your heart and being. Your writing has restored my faith that we will be ONE in heaven, united in and through CHRIST. I pray that my wife, Lisa, is wrapped in the glorious love she deserves, that she has no worries for those of us left behind to be perfected and completed, and that she is with the ones she loved here on earth who preceded her. In a perfect place, how could it be any other way? I specifically ask the Lord for what I want, and that is to be with Lisa for eternity, and I ask him to guide me on the path to get there, and how do I serve Him in this world so he would be gracious to answer my prayer, whether it takes 1 day or 10,000 days. I also pray for endurance, and wisdom, this is the only way I get through the moments when I want to leave this planet.

Isabella Martino June 27, 2016 at 5:20 PM

Hey STEVE RAY,

What do you purpose happens to those widows/widowers who remarry validly in the Catholic Church and so have become ‘one flesh’ with their second wife/husband just as they were with the first? What happens when the Church considers your second or even third marriage VALID, then who are you with in Heaven if they are all valid marriages in the eyes of God and His Church???

JOANNE July 31, 2016 at 10:13 PM

I have been married and widowed twice. I loved my first husband but because I have shared so much more with my second husband I would really like to be with my second husband. I always had dreams that I had to choose one. I think I will be close to both of them because the love we share will be different than on earth and whatever it is it will be beyond human belief. I have to believe God is good and we will not be dissapointed.

Mark Downing September 1, 2016 at 11:20 PM

It’s interesting to note that the argument that pure love flourishes in heaven actually left room for a sexual life there. The most prominent of this view was the chaplain to Queen Victoria, Charles Kingsley. For him, heaven was everlasting conjugal union; “those thrilling writhings” he wrote before he married “are but dim shadows of a union which shall be perfect.” Even in his published letters, carefully edited by his wife Fanny, Kingsley did not shirk from asserting that sexual love continued. Kingsley wife, Fanny said, “…if she (Eve) shrank not, why should I? If Holy Eden was the scene of marriage and marriage love, why should I fear to leap into your arms to realize one of Eden’s blessing or taste an enjoyment which must be pure if it was tasted there?”

Mark Downing September 1, 2016 at 11:21 PM

Marriage, prefigured by a Miltonian paradise, entailed love, friendship, and sexual enjoyment. For Kingsley, to limit marriage to reproduction thus confining it to earthly existence was “an old Jewish error” His own marriage was so intrinsic to his being that, “if inmortality is to include in my case identity of person, I shall feel to hear (Fanny) for ever what I feel now” Kingsley rejected any notion that sexual passion should be limited to the male. The mutual sexual enjoyment of husband and wife, far from being merely an unfortunate result of original sin, would survive in heaven. “There” Kingsley insisted, “we shall be in each other’s arms forever” Faced with the scriptural denial marying in heaven, he said it is marrying that shall end but not marriage. “All I can say is if I do not love my wife, body and soul, as well there as I do here then there is neither resurrection of my body or of soul, but of some other, and I shall not be I.” Queen Victoria was buried in her bridal veil in preparation to meet her husband.

VM September 7, 2016 at 12:06 AM

What if we weren’t able to get married? My fiance died three weeks ago. I miss him so badly, I am TERRIFIED that I won’t get to see him in heaven. In my mind, we were already married. We live in different countries, if we lived in the same place we would have been married years ago. I miss him so much, I would do anything to see him again. How can it be heaven without him? Or heaven but we are not together? I want to trust God it’s just so hard. I wish more than anything there was a way to be sure.

Larry September 12, 2016 at 6:01 PM

I agree, I believe that there will be the marital relationship in the life to come, though it will not come about through men marrying or giving in marriage, but through the will of God. It is the business transaction of marriage, not the relationship of marriage, that Christ is here saying will not exist at that time.

But if we will be men and women in the life to come and will be live together in a relationship that is similar to marriage. Why sexual expression of love would not be a reality in the life to come?

Do you think that will be there sexual expresion among men and women in Heaven?

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